the bone pile

Every knitter has languishing WIPs, frogged projects, and ill-fitting sweaters destined for the Felting Fairy or the thrift store pile. But aside from the consequences of - shudder - a dreaded m*th attack, have you ever met a knitter with a project that has turned out so badly she or he actually just pitched the whole thing into the trash?

I don't think I've ever done that...until tonight.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the Ugly Baby Sweater!

That is pretty darn ugly.

I don't remember when I started this sweater, but it was likely before Daniel was born. I know it was before Ravelry existed. And I do remember buying this yarn at Lakeside Fibers (no longer in business) more than ten years ago. It was the first yarn I ever stashed. There was an assortment of odd colors (as you can see) of DK weight wool, a German brand I think though the label is long gone, bagged up in the sale bin and I bought it with vague plans for socks. I made one pair of thick hiking-type socks for my FIL (he may even still have them) and then instead of making more, for some reason began this project.

So much is wrong with this sweater. While the striping and mix of garter and seed stitch isn't bad in and of itself, it makes for a gazillion ends to hide, the tedium of which may have been what prompted me to stick the whole thing in a bag and shove it into the back of my tea shelf (why yes, I have a tea shelf, don't you??) for - and I'm not exaggerating here - years. Also, the mix of gaudy 70s kitchen decor colors isn't doing this sweater any favors. Take out the grellow, maybe, or the orange, and it would be okay, but all together it just looks like, well, like someone had a bunch of ugly colors of yarn to use up in a sweater. 

I pulled this out the other day with the intention of finishing it, despite the annoying ends to hide and unappealing colors. I've been on a decluttering/destashing/finishing-things-up jag since the new year and I thought it would feel good to have this done. Even if I couldn't bring myself to punish any new parents with this sweater as a gift, I reasoned, I could donate it to a women's shelter or the thrift pile, where someone would be bound to find it, like it and maybe even take it home on purpose.

When I left this as a WIP years ago, the sleeves were about half done. Evidently, back when I started I did have the foresight to do both sleeves at the same time, which might have been yet another reason I put it down; having two sleeves on one circular needle might seem like a good idea, but it's actually fiddly and the yarn has a tendency to tangle up with all the back and forth, and that drives me nuts. Anyway, I finished one sleeve and sewed it in. I held up the sweater and took one good look at it and decided I'm. Done. 

That sleeve is too narrow. It does actually fit in the armhole, but assembled, the sweater looks like it's made for a baby pumpkin with twigs for arms. Something appears to be proportionally off with this sweater and I don't have the will or energy to fix it. With all the color changes there's no point in frogging to save the yarn, either, so into the trash it goes, out of my life and off my conscience forever! Ha!