i'm still here...

So the defense went okay. After the late night baking disaster, I chucked three dozen cinnamon-raisin sweet rolls (aka hot cross buns) into the compost (ouch), and stopped at a local bakery for chocolate croissants and pumpkin scones for my committee. These people are impervious to bribes. They ate up the baked goods, asked me questions for an hour and a half, sent me out of the room for what seemed like forever, and then told me they want some revisions before they sign my warrant. As I understand it, this is fairly typical. You give your paper to the committee, give them a few weeks to read it, then discuss revisions and such at the defense. I don't feel bad about the work I've done, and at no point did anyone say it was subpar. They even seemed to like it. But in the course of discussing my project, some ideas were thrown around about the nature of academic writing in the field of performance, and it was decided that I need to include more about this and that and the other before I turn in a final final copy.
I basically agree with this, though I admit to some frustration that I didn't receive any feedback of this nature until this week. Until Monday, all I got were a few "Yup, looks good" and "Here, I found a couple typos" and now I've got to expand the introduction and blah blah blah (and yes, I'll fix the typos).

I'm not so much discouraged as weary. Like I said, they were basically positive about what I've written so far, and I would think that someone's dissertation defense is not the place to be polite and avoid telling someone if their paper sucks. But I'm getting tired of the subject already, and it's going to be difficult for me to muster up the physical and mental strength to finish this, and finish it properly. My due date is just over six weeks away, and in some ways, it feels like my body is falling apart. I have awful insomnia, my feet itch, my back aches, my hips hurt, random muscles get twitchy, my skin is dry and sensitive, I have heartburn at night, sometimes the baby kicks me in the side so hard it hurts, and...okay, now I'm whining, so I'll stop. But you get the idea. Let's just say it's increasingly difficult for me to focus or concentrate. I experienced all this when I was pregnant with Daniel, so I was expecting it, but not all at once.

So why am I putting all this on my knitting blog? I don't know, honestly. Maybe because I was thinking the other day about knitting socks and it was the least appealing project that came to mind. Probably because of the fact that my feet feel so hot and itchy all the time I haven't worn socks for at least a week. That's right; I'm going outside in sandals when it's 32 degrees and that feels just about right to me now. Or maybe I'm posting this on my knitting blog to check in, let y'all know I'm still here, that kind of thing. Because I have been knitting, at least a little. I started some mittens and they are looking quite pretty. I've made some progress on the Koolhaas hat for me. I dug up some leftover fingering weight yarn that I'd like to knit up into 4" squares for that Oliver's blanket that they're doing over at Mason-Dixon Knitting, though I haven't started any yet.

I guess that's about it, and I don't even have pictures to show you because I've been so busy and/or tired during the day, photographing yarn and knitting just doesn't enter my mind.

Here's the up side, though. Next week is Thanksgiving, my whole immediate family will be here (parents and brother) to eat and celebrate and play with Daniel. By then my final DMA recital will be done (it's on Sunday night, and I expect it will go well....though I still have to muster up the energy and intellect to write some good program notes...ugh), and maybe I'll get some writing and some knitting done. Let's hope.


Glenna C said…
I'm glad your defense is done! I go woozy thinking about mine, wondering how bad the revisions will be. But at least you're on the other side of it and it's between you and your supervisor how you do the revisions and then it will be DONE. I hope to be there soon too!
Anonymous said…
When stress builds up, sometimes there is nothing like sitting down with yarn and needles, especially if it's a new project. I remember in college that when I had a paper due or a test to study for, nothing was so sweet as to steal a few minutes to get in a few rows.
Maybe the reason we are wired to get so uncomfortable in the last month of pregnancy is to make us forget the "discomfort" of labor in the anticipation of having the whole business over. (Does that make sense?) But of course, that is only the beginning--of a new little life!

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