summer brain

I have summer brain. Is that a thing? I don't even know, but I have it. Every knitting project I've started this summer, with the notable exception of mindless socks that are so boring I haven't even taken pictures,  has been pulled out and redone multiple times because it's like I'm suddenly stupid and can't cast on properly or even count to 50 without messing up. I have a test sweater for Thea I should have finished a month ago, but I can't seem to do anything right. And her pattern is perfect, no errors!!

Sigh. I blame the kids. They are with me always, and because they are still young enough not to mind, I love them all the more for it. And yet even though they, at ages 8 and 10, are old enough to entertain themselves or go to the park on their own for a period of time, I still don't get more than a few minutes here and there to get anything done. I have a professional website to update (this has been on my to-do list for over a year, there's no excuse anymore, really) and classes to teach and papers to edit and networking to do to make sure the freelancing gigs don't dry up this year...and I just can't. I can't. I think about that stuff and my body and brain just shut down so I can't move.

Dinner gets made and the rug gets vacuumed and I've organized outdoor workdays at the school and managed to start my teaching gig without too much trouble, but that's it. Bare minimum. My knitting projects this summer have been a string of mistakes, my sewing room is neglected, and any aspirations I had to further my professional life have remained just that: aspirations.

I don't even know if this is a problem. Am I well-rounded? Unambitious? Depressed? Completely domesticated? Or just ready for school to start? 

Well, I can't afford a shrink, so I'll go for the latter. Just under one week to go and then my delightful offspring will be out of my hair, at least for a few hours a day. Then maybe I'll be able to accomplish something. This parenting thing, it's a lifelong commitment, did you know?

Meanwhile, here's a photo of the yarn I dyed with Queen Anne's Lace:

I don't know that it's a color I would choose on my own, but I'm pretty tickled that I did this. I'm inspired to try more now with other plants I'm growing or can find in the neighborhood: marigolds, jewelweed, brown-eyed-susans, I come!


Valerie said…
I know this feeling well! And yes, I think having a few-hour chunk of time where you can get into the zone on a project (really, any project) will make all the difference.

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